I use to be THAT girl

I use to be that girl....
The one that would live for the weekends... vacations and time away. .

I can remember a time when I just felt so freaking lost and only had time off to look forward to. 
In a sense .. so that I could breathe and just do nothing. But the truth is , if I’m being totally honest , I felt like I was doing nothing all the time.... And it was SO frustrating. I had this overwhelming feeling of just constantly floating through life and going through the same motions day in and day out. .

No real Purpose or any pride of contributing something to my family. .
One day , after over a year of floating, feeling stuck, sad , worthless and knowing there HAD to be more... I got a call. .


I distinctly remember being on the couch waking up from a nap .. I guess I had fallen asleep in front of the tv mid day. The ringing phone woke me up. I remember feeling so discouraged as I propped myself up to answer. ... It was Andre . .

We were then newly married and in our condo. I had just graduated, searching for a job and was so broke it hurt. 
He said “ Just so you know you don’t have enough money in your account to pay your visa bill “. That was it . Something cracked . It hurt like a mofo. I felt the lowest I’d probably ever felt . I mean... I already was hyper sensitive to the fact that I was failing at being a good wife and being any sort of help monetarily for our family but NOW .. not only was I not contributing.. not only was I floating ... I had sunk us. I was crushed. I said ok.. I’ll figure this out... hung up and cried so hard I actually gave myself a massive headache. 
It can ALL change in a matter of seconds. 
It might take over a year to get there but a DECISION is made in an instant. 
When do you say I’m DONE.... this is Happening.. I’m not living like this anymore... I’m worth more than this.... it’s ENOUGH. .

Stop waiting for Friday
Stop waiting for the summer 
Stop waiting for your next getaway
Stop waiting for permission 
Stop waiting for the perfect moment 
Stop waiting To LIVE your LIFE .
I started to think... What if everyday could feel like a Friday ?
What if I could feel happy every season?
What if we could travel all year long?
What if I took a leap of faith?
What if I bet on ME this time?
What if I finally stopped waiting and just started? .
Happiness occurs when you STOP waiting for something to happen .. when you stop constantly looking forward to the NEXT time and you START making the most of EXACTLY where you are right now ... even if it’s in the worst place you’ve ever been... because this could all lead to you saying No More

Angie Bellemare