How to Overcome Your Fears & Stop Caring What Other People Think

I want to dive deeper into something that we don’t always shine enough light on, and it’s often the reason we stop ourselves. That topic is fear. My biggest fears were always of judgment, and what other people thought. I want to share some tips with you about how to overcome that big fear, and stop caring what other people think. These tips are some that I’ve implemented in my own life. I’m a completely different person than I was, and I truly think it’s due to an accumulation of all these things over time! What I hope you get from this is letting go and releasing all the negative thoughts you may have cooked up in your head.

Let’s get started!

Tip #1: Grow Yourself

The first tip I have for you is to grow as a person, whatever that looks like for you. For me, that was getting healthier and fitter. I needed to feel strong, not just in terms of muscle, but as a human. To me, that meant doing my workouts, and that changed me completely. The other portion of it was growing the health and strength of my mind. I know that sounds like something out of Star Wars, but what I mean is working on personal growth, becoming more confident in the way that I think, and having more positive thoughts in my life. I let go of listening to the news and all of the negativity around me. I started reading books that would teach me something about myself, help me set goals, and help me grow. If you need help identifying your goals, check out My Dream Life Blueprint Workbook. It’s an interactive workbook that will help you gain clarity, overcome negative thoughts, and figure out exactly what you want in life.

Think about how you want to grow yourself. Maybe you start a workout routine, or start reading one book every month that helps you grow in whatever category of life that you want. Maybe that’s confidence, communication, or goal setting. The opportunities are endless! The more you grow, and the more you work toward getting better, the happier you will be. The happier you are with yourself, the less you’ll care what people think.

Tip #2: Know Yourself

My second tip for you is to be grounded in where you stand. This comes with time, but I’ll tell you how to get there. It’s having a super clear reason why you’re doing something. Maybe you have a side hustle that you’re obsessed with and super passionate about, but everyone around you thinks you’re crazy (that was me). No matter what people say, you will always stick to it. Now, how do you get that level of conviction? You have to have a clear-cut “why;” a reason greater than any reason to give up, or any reason to listen to someone else’s opinion on the matter. For me, it was to have a greater sense of purpose and impact in the world. I didn’t just want to go through life floating, and I knew that I was destined for more. The other reason was that I wanted to contribute to my family. At the time, I felt like I wasn’t contributing anything. The first big “why” I had set for myself was to afford a vacation for my husband and I. These are the things that kept me going. When you have that level of clarity and the right values, you know at your core that you’re doing the right thing, so stick to it.

If you have trouble figuring out exactly what your purpose is and what you want to do, I recommend checking out the book Find Your Why by Simon Sinek. Your purpose is SO important. It’s your reason for being. Whatever your big goal is, why are you pushing so hard to work toward it? Figuring out that big reason why is what makes you stick to your guns and truly not care what other people think.

Tip #3: Your Top People

Surround yourself with the right people. You know the people that raise you up; the ones you hang out with and then think, “that was so awesome.” I can proudly say that I’ve discovered in my 30+ years on this planet that less is more. I would rather have one or two really amazing best friends, than 20 mediocre friends. I know that if I need my best friend, she’s going to be there, no matter what. It took me 28 years to find her, so be patient, and be picky with who you choose to surround yourself with. You may have heard the phrase, “you are the sum of the five people you hang out with most,” so choose wisely.

The opinions and negative energies you might be getting can come from all different angles, and sometimes the ones that cut the deepest are the ones that come from the people we love the most. I’m not saying you need to cut anyone out of your life, but you can try to limit your exposure. You don’t always have to be around them. If it’s your spouse, try to help them grow as well. Get them into a workout program or encourage them to read a book to help them feel happy about themselves, whatever that looks like for them. Help them grow with you instead of growing without them.

Tip #4: Dream Bigger

This is my favorite tip, and it’s to dream bigger than things you ever thought possible. That’s my motto! It’s Disney-esque, but it’s really how I think about life. If anything was possible, what would you want to achieve? I create a vision board every single year, and keep it in front of me on my desktop or inside my planner, so it’s always top of mind. Looking back at the boards I’ve done in previous years, things have happened that I never thought possible. It’s because I look at my dream board every single day. It’s at the forefront and I’m attracting that to myself. You make things happen that are in front of you.

This also grows confidence because when those things start happening, you say, “yea, I did that!” Even if you might feel like it’s small, you did that. You wanted that and you made it happen. All of these things start to grow your confidence, and play into you caring so much less about that fear that holds you back, because you know deep down that you can crush it.

Tip #5: The Magic Solution

The last tip I want to share with you is the automatic abolishment of anxiety, fear, feeling judged, and all of the negative feelings that we feel. I read a book called The Subtle Art of Not Giving A F*ck, and it helped me so much. It’s about how we get anxious, then get anxious about feeling anxious, beat ourselves up about it and fall into a downward spiral. How can you crush those thoughts in five seconds? With gratitude. Gratitude is one of the greatest tools you have. I started using blank pages in my planner to keep a gratitude journal, and it completely shifts my mood. Give it a try by writing down three things that you’re grateful for every morning or every night before you go to bed. You’ll be shocked at how quickly it can turn your mindset around!

Another book that helped get me into this gratitude mindset is called The Magic, and it’s all about the power of gratitude. In the book, you can go through different gratitude challenges every day, and it’s so cool. That completely changed my world. When you focus on gratitude, you’re taking the focus away from negative thoughts, the things you can’t do, and all of the opinions of the world. Instead, you’re focusing on what you’re grateful for, and what you do have. I think that is so important, especially nowadays when we think we don’t have enough and need more. When you’re grateful, you realize that you have everything you could ever want.

The last thing I want to say on this topic is: why would you ever listen to someone’s opinion about you and the life you should be living, if you wouldn’t want to live the life that they’re living? If they’re not living your dream life, then don’t take on that energy or those opinions. It’s not what you want, it’s what they want. They can do them, but you do you. Don’t focus on what everyone else thinks should be painted for your life. You have the paint brush, and you paint the painting of your own life. It’s as simple as that!

I hope this was helpful and that you got some tips you can implement in your life. I also want you to remember that you’re never alone in fearing what people think. I love having these heart-to-heart chats! If there are any tips you have, I’d love to hear them in the comments!

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